There's no denying the relationship between a car enthusiast and their car. It's special, sacred, and emotional whether they want to admit it or not.
Like most car owners my age, this is not my first vehicle. But I will confess that this is the first vehicle I've ever had that still makes my heart skip a beat beyond the first month of it being in my possession. I've also never been so protective over a vehicle before, which is why my heart was absolutely broken when someone tried to break into it a couple of weeks ago. The details aren't important, at least not for this telling, but what is important is how it has affected my "relationship" with my xB.
When I first got my xB I was beside myself with glee. I was as giddy as a schoolgirl and couldn't wait to spend time going over and becoming familiar with every nook and cranny. Finding ClubxB and the awesome people in it only increased the frequency of random smiles and sighs of wonder over this dream come true, which gained me more than a few odd looks on the highway. Doing some simple mods boosted my confidence and overcoming my nearly-disastrous alarm install solidified the connection I had with my Scion. It really felt like getting to know a very good friend, a friend that I would hate to see anything bad happen to.
(Damage done to my liftgate when someone attempted to pry into it)
Discovering the slight to moderate damage that was done to my lift gate, also referred to as the back hatch for those new to all of this, sent me through a range of emotions that wouldn't have happened with any of my previous vehicles. There was the initial shock and disbelief, then the anger and rage, then the helplessness and tears, and finally the guilt. The guilt isn't because I did anything wrong but because, like any good owner/friend, I feel like there could have been something beyond the current measures done to prevent it. But in reality, there honestly wasn't.
Since the incident, I have become timid around my xB and I absolutely hate it. Washing and clay are my favorite things to do and yet I've found myself not
setting aside time for this much-needed treatment. There are a couple of mods that I've been so anxious to do just sitting and waiting to be completed, but I can't even bring myself to wash my car so that it is prepped and ready for them. In complete honesty, I feel like a mom whose child fell out of a swing and broke their arm when I turned and wasn't looking.
Now, I know I'll get over these feelings of inadequacy and guilt and stop feeling like anything I do will only do more damage. However, knowing this and actually getting to that point are two completely different things. I truly believe that this is something every enthusiast faces from time to time, that feeling of discouragement and hesitancy when there's a setback or something bad happens like burnt electrical wires or vandalism. But that's the difference between car owners and car enthusiasts
... that emotional connection or investment.
My mother used to repeat a saying any time I would get discouraged, and I don't really remember what it was except that it had something to do with getting on a horse. Whatever the relevance may be, I know that I've just got to get over this feeling and get back to enjoying my xB because that's why I bought it. To enjoy it. And I say to you, if you're in a similar situation, don't let whatever it is take the joy out of owning your xB. Lift up your chin, square your shoulders and get back up on that horse!
Hey, I remembered what that saying was!